Why I Stopped Reading Self-Help Books

I started reading self help books back in 2008 with Ekarte Tolls "The Power of Now". I don't even want to fix the spelling of his name, fuck it lmfao. 

For 12 years, that's all I read, alongside a few great fictions novels which included the Harry Potter series and some great Michael Crichton books. 

These self help books included every topic from happiness, changing habits, stoicism, buddhism, christianity, meditation, mindfulness, sleep, mindset, manifestation, healing from anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT, ACT and every therapy in between. 

I'm kind of like, "shit, if I just paid some money I could have had some more degrees by now with all this psych reading"

So, when do we get to a point when we know enough? When does seeking become problematic? How much help do I actually need?

I would read these books thinking I was getting closer to an answer; the answer we're all looking for around the meaning of our existence, purpose and how to optimize our happiness. 

After reading so many, it was so simple to see a pattern in all of them. They're all the exact same. Once you've read a couple, you've read them all.

So enough was finally enough in October, 2020. No more non-fiction, only fiction.

What would I be if I just simply lived with no influence from gurus, authors, influencers or teachers? Who would I be? What would happen if I just lived?

It turns out that I lost myself in the pursuit of needing to know more. In trying to find myself, I completely lost myself. As sensitive people have such permeable shells, we can become easily influenced. I lost myself in the chase of trying to live outside of what Marcus Aurelius calls "My Nature".

It's so simple and clear to see why I read so many of these books. The knowledge I've gained has helped me and others tremendously through presentations, however, at a large cost. 

Every book read gives an incredible dopamine rush where we think progress is being made and rewards are being received. We're learning! But, what are we really learning?

The objective was to "get better" and learn more about myself but I ended up absorbing ideas and values from an author I knew nothing about. With heavy psychological and spiritual books, this can't only be intended to be a one way conversation. We need dialogue, intent and context in what we read if it's profound enough to marinate and create change. 

We buy these books thinking we think we lack something and after reading it, we'll be closer to becoming whole. 

It's like those people who look for a wife or husband to 'complete them'.

We need guidance in our lives but I can no longer attain the answers I'm looking for through national bestsellers. 

I kept looking outside myself for myself. What a smack in the dick when you realize it's right here, in you, the entire time. 

I have to admit that theres a massive burden lifted after giving up this type of reading. I'm enjoying reading, having way more fun and feel a sense of freedom like I haven't felt in a while. 

So,  if you have any fiction books you would recommend, get in touch with me!

Thanks for reading.

Scott