What Are We Supposed to Remember?

I went to the University of Waterloo from 2008 - 2013. In this stretch of time, there were too many experiences to write down in this blog but also too many to even remember. 

Today I met a really good friend of mine I lived with through that period of time as he was visiting from Victoria, BC. We decided a good place to meet would be on campus and to walk through old, familiar places. It was such an awesome day.

Do you have people in your life that just. . .get it? Do I even need to say anything else? Like, they just get this journey and what life has to offer. Anyway, he's one of those guys. 

So as we're walking and updating each other on the great and not so great times throughout the past 2 years, there was a familiar theme in our conversation. 

"Yeah, I don't even remember that!"

"Wait, who?"

"Whoa, when did that happen?"

"I have no idea man"

There was so much we remembered from those 5 years but even more that we just. . .forgot.

We didn't remember names, buildings, classes, professors, parties or streets. Some things did, however, come back to us once we started chatting and pondering a bit:

"What was that bar that was only on the second floor?"

"Uhhhhh"

"You know, the one that was near the corner of King St. and Erb St."

"Oh shoot, ummm"

"You know, they did the funk nights!"

"OHHHH STARLIGHT!!"

"OMG YES, STARLIGHT! LMFAOOOO"

So obviously the memories can be activated with a little nudge and good company. Simple memory recall can be done through conversation, smells, photographs, videos music etc... But some things just seem lost and a disappointing thought can creep up that we forgot the good times and all of the effort we put into living back then. 

I think Scott a few years back would have researched the formation of memories and looked into the biology of recall. However, at this specific point in time, the biology and material world doesn't bring the comfort as it used to. 

Although specifics escape me when looking back into most points of the past, we can see time lived through a more general lens. 

We'll go through truly difficult and seemingly unbearable seasons in our lives and then, seasons of tranquility, contentment, excitement and beauty. 

Rather than trying to remember causes and effects and specific scenarios looking back, we can remember what resources we brought from that season into who we are today.

After all, the purpose of memory is to make sure we don't make the same mistake twice, or sometimes in my case it takes a good 67 mistakes to finally learn a lesson.

We may look at the forgotten past with a lens of criticism and lack of compassion for ourselves:

"I just wasn't in the moment back then, thats why I don't remember!"

"I was drunk and high, man. I wasted so much time."

"I wasn't doing anything exciting back then. No use remembering boredom"

Although some of these may be true, blaming ourselves for a forgotten past isn't too productive. 

What resources did you take from those years to the now? 

When I frame my past in that way, there is so much I have learned and so much I am grateful for when I look back, even the pain. Especially the pain. 

What resources have you brought from the past that made you who you are today? Once you realize this, you know exactly what you were supposed to remember. 

Thanks for reading everyone. 

Scott